Truth

It's one thing i value more than almost everything. Before i get into this let me define what the word truth means to me. Truth (probably one of the hardest things for me to define really): Admitting ones fault when ones at fault. An accurate description of the events that took place.
i don't can't think of how best to say that, its a pretty broad term for me. it encompasses a lot and can be pretty narrow sometimes. i hate to say its circumstantial, because its most definitely not. this would fall under those moments when i fail to put my thoughts into words. but now lets get into the meat of this post eh?
I hate being lied to and i hate lying. I don't know how often it happens that i'm lied to and i don't care. I won't go looking for a lie, especially not from people i trust. Once i let someone into my close circle, i pretty much take them at face value, i won't dig deeper. which, by that i mean, i won't dig deeper into what they say, not into the relationship.(I'm always looking to make any relationship i have with a friend a better one, i hate making things go backwards. I almost let this happen recently and i'm still getting hit by the (almost)ramifications. I almost chased one of my closest friends out of the state.) While this might leave me vulnerable to get hit pretty hard at some point in the future, i'm willing to risk that. I have no reason to believe that any of my close friends would lie, so i don't worry about it.
I catch myself lying all the time. it bothers me, i hate it, and because of it i hate myself. maybe hate's too strong of a word, and i know i use it too freely, but its true. i would be lying if i said i really had a whole lot of respect for myself. If i had to attribute this to anything, it'd be my failure to keep a promise to myself (i'm good for keeping one to you or anyone else), or how often i find myself lying to people, even the people that are the closest to me. I've tried and i'm trying to correct this, if not for myself... than for the people that deserve to hear more of the truth from me than they do.
/so ends my monologue on truth.